Note: Start at "The Why"
What Happened:
Today I went to work thinking "I can do this, my body hurts BUT I CAN do this". I limped into work with my feet on fire and cramping up and walking at tortoise speed. I work with children who have special needs. I love what I do and the people I work with. When I think of what I actually do and the lives I have the ability to change on a daily basis....how could I not go to work because I am "hurting". But geez louise was I hurting. With my job I do a lot of walking and I do mean a lot! On this particular day we were invited to have lunch with our neighboring building. Did I mention this building was approximately 1/4mi away??? Now that may not seem like a lot to you but when your feet are stuck in a cramped position causing you to walk on the sides of your feet and you have to decide which foot to put pressure on and they are a 9 and 10 on a scale of 1-10. I guess you get it...It's hard and I was in pain!
Along with the children hand-in-hand the team of amazing co-workers and I begin to walk the "journey" to the next building. Half way through I realized I was just slowing them down and realistically for the safety of the kids they needed to get there asap. So my team took my child and went ahead, with me far, far, far behind. I did eventually get there and was able to enjoy a great lunch provided by Chick-fil-a (who doesn't love CFA) I watched my kids who have severe food aversions sit and eat food they had never tried before. I also watched them sit with new people and for the first time have lunch without our hovering team. It was amazingly bittersweet, after all those are our babies and they just grew up! After lunch it was time to walk back to our building and that is when things went bad. My right leg cramped up and I was unable to walk at all for 10 minutes. When I was able to move again it was slower than the slow from earlier.... snail speed?😅 I stood looking at my building, my destination, attempting to give myself a pep talk for what was going to be the longest and painful walk ever. I remember thinking "I just want to make it across the road". I walked and encouraged myself the entire way. I made it back to my building sweaty and exhausted. At this point I knew I needed help and this wasn't just going to go away. My mom had been trying to get me to go to the ER but I did not want to pay the $300 copay for ER visit. If you're going to be sick you must also be rich. However, it was sounding more and more like a good plan at this point.
The day came to an end and I was so elated. I had made it. It was hard and I was hurting BUT I made it. Thank you God for pulling me through! Work? Ok...I got this!
Lol but I should probably take my mothers advice and go to the ER. So I did! My mom met me at the ER in the next city because ours...sucks! Ok, there I said it! But this one, Oh this one in this up and coming, thriving city was supposedly awesome! I was confident that if something was going on they would find it. Plus, my mom said she would help me pay the $300 copay. Thank God!
So, I waited in this ER room while they ran blood work and took a urine sample. They also gave me a saline i.v. Not because I was dehydrated but because that was procedure....hmmmm. The results took forever and the one time the doctor came in he said "Your blood work looks good, You're having muscle spasms. Take an OTC and they will stop. You can go home". I was livid 😡😡 $300 to send me home the way I came in? No!!!! So I said "that's it? you're not going to do anything? You haven't even touched me! Do something" He then stated "I'm sorry nothing is wrong with you (very sarcastically)" I interrupted him and said "no there is! You just didn't find it". I was crushed. I was going to have to leave here the exact way I came in😨 He did give me a 10 day prescription for Flexeril, 2 days off work and a neurologist referral. I left fighting back tears so my mom wouldn't see me cry. The last thing I ever want to do is worry her.
How I felt:
Disappointed, scared, alone. This was the first time I remember thinking "help is NOT on the way" and this may be how I am forever. This was a low moment.
What Happened:
Today I went to work thinking "I can do this, my body hurts BUT I CAN do this". I limped into work with my feet on fire and cramping up and walking at tortoise speed. I work with children who have special needs. I love what I do and the people I work with. When I think of what I actually do and the lives I have the ability to change on a daily basis....how could I not go to work because I am "hurting". But geez louise was I hurting. With my job I do a lot of walking and I do mean a lot! On this particular day we were invited to have lunch with our neighboring building. Did I mention this building was approximately 1/4mi away??? Now that may not seem like a lot to you but when your feet are stuck in a cramped position causing you to walk on the sides of your feet and you have to decide which foot to put pressure on and they are a 9 and 10 on a scale of 1-10. I guess you get it...It's hard and I was in pain!
Along with the children hand-in-hand the team of amazing co-workers and I begin to walk the "journey" to the next building. Half way through I realized I was just slowing them down and realistically for the safety of the kids they needed to get there asap. So my team took my child and went ahead, with me far, far, far behind. I did eventually get there and was able to enjoy a great lunch provided by Chick-fil-a (who doesn't love CFA) I watched my kids who have severe food aversions sit and eat food they had never tried before. I also watched them sit with new people and for the first time have lunch without our hovering team. It was amazingly bittersweet, after all those are our babies and they just grew up! After lunch it was time to walk back to our building and that is when things went bad. My right leg cramped up and I was unable to walk at all for 10 minutes. When I was able to move again it was slower than the slow from earlier.... snail speed?😅 I stood looking at my building, my destination, attempting to give myself a pep talk for what was going to be the longest and painful walk ever. I remember thinking "I just want to make it across the road". I walked and encouraged myself the entire way. I made it back to my building sweaty and exhausted. At this point I knew I needed help and this wasn't just going to go away. My mom had been trying to get me to go to the ER but I did not want to pay the $300 copay for ER visit. If you're going to be sick you must also be rich. However, it was sounding more and more like a good plan at this point.
The day came to an end and I was so elated. I had made it. It was hard and I was hurting BUT I made it. Thank you God for pulling me through! Work? Ok...I got this!
Lol but I should probably take my mothers advice and go to the ER. So I did! My mom met me at the ER in the next city because ours...sucks! Ok, there I said it! But this one, Oh this one in this up and coming, thriving city was supposedly awesome! I was confident that if something was going on they would find it. Plus, my mom said she would help me pay the $300 copay. Thank God!
So, I waited in this ER room while they ran blood work and took a urine sample. They also gave me a saline i.v. Not because I was dehydrated but because that was procedure....hmmmm. The results took forever and the one time the doctor came in he said "Your blood work looks good, You're having muscle spasms. Take an OTC and they will stop. You can go home". I was livid 😡😡 $300 to send me home the way I came in? No!!!! So I said "that's it? you're not going to do anything? You haven't even touched me! Do something" He then stated "I'm sorry nothing is wrong with you (very sarcastically)" I interrupted him and said "no there is! You just didn't find it". I was crushed. I was going to have to leave here the exact way I came in😨 He did give me a 10 day prescription for Flexeril, 2 days off work and a neurologist referral. I left fighting back tears so my mom wouldn't see me cry. The last thing I ever want to do is worry her.
How I felt:
Disappointed, scared, alone. This was the first time I remember thinking "help is NOT on the way" and this may be how I am forever. This was a low moment.
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