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Stuck

Note: Start reading at "The Why"

What Happened: 
Today was an ok day. My skin began to hurt some and  my feet have been on fire all day with no breaks. Every time I sit down my legs go numb. More than the physical pain I am an emotional mess. I have managed to hold it in and work all day and teach all night but I am mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. After venting to one of my close friends I heard myself say "I am stuck" and oh my gosh this describes exactly how I feel at this point in life. I am stuck in my career, I am stuck in my own business, I am stuck financially and I am stuck in my this body that seems to be turning against me.  I know God is going to heal me and I know that all of this will only last for a season but at this very moment I hate being me in this body that is on fire and in pain all of the time. I hate pretending that I am ok when I ache all over. I hate crying all the way to work and then barley making it in. I hate denying help when I really want to say "Yes please,someone,anyone please help me" but then if I don't make my body be strong...what if it stops? I hate when the people at work touch me, I hate when people say "oh you're limping" ummmm yeah! I know!!! I wish I could stop but my leg may fall off at any moment so please let me limp on to my destination. I hate having to walk everyday to get where I need to be. Above all else I hate complaining and having pity parties so I will stop. Tomorrow will be a better day!

How I feel:

S  T  U  C  K

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