Skip to main content

Stuck

Note: Start reading at "The Why"

What Happened: 
Today was an ok day. My skin began to hurt some and  my feet have been on fire all day with no breaks. Every time I sit down my legs go numb. More than the physical pain I am an emotional mess. I have managed to hold it in and work all day and teach all night but I am mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. After venting to one of my close friends I heard myself say "I am stuck" and oh my gosh this describes exactly how I feel at this point in life. I am stuck in my career, I am stuck in my own business, I am stuck financially and I am stuck in my this body that seems to be turning against me.  I know God is going to heal me and I know that all of this will only last for a season but at this very moment I hate being me in this body that is on fire and in pain all of the time. I hate pretending that I am ok when I ache all over. I hate crying all the way to work and then barley making it in. I hate denying help when I really want to say "Yes please,someone,anyone please help me" but then if I don't make my body be strong...what if it stops? I hate when the people at work touch me, I hate when people say "oh you're limping" ummmm yeah! I know!!! I wish I could stop but my leg may fall off at any moment so please let me limp on to my destination. I hate having to walk everyday to get where I need to be. Above all else I hate complaining and having pity parties so I will stop. Tomorrow will be a better day!

How I feel:

S  T  U  C  K

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Silver Lining

Silver lining- a term used when you want to emphasize the hopeful side or remain optimistic The past few days have been rough. Yesterday was rough for my body and today along with my body my mind/emotions decided to escape me. I honestly am tired. I am tired of hurting. I am tired of pretending Im ok. I'm tired of smiling on the outside but feeling empty on the inside. I am just tired.  Today like many others I went to work, helped change lives. Then I taught my fitness class to help women reach their goals. One woman reported she had lost 13lbs in the last 3 weeks. I am truly happy for her and this is why I push through it. Today I am having a hard time finding the silver lining of my situation. Today my body is better than it was yesterday so I have just tried to focus on this fact. However the shooting random pains in my feet when I walk, my face when I talk and my back when I breathe have really taken a toll on me. My everything hurts. I punched the air in a routine and I had...
3 comments
Read more

Straight Shot

Note: Start reading at "The Why" What Happened: Today was  a normal day. By normal I mean feet burning, legs hurting blah blah blah. I went to work, taught a boot camp class then went to another fitness class. On the way to the class my body felt really odd. My face was a little numb feeling and the left side of my neck had like a shooting pain going up. I just massaged it and shook it off. I started class and begin to jump. There was a sharp pain that went from my left heel to my hip. It startled me and I stopped briefly. It actually scared me. My left arm went numb. I tried to keep smiling and just instruct so that the class couldn't tell I was in excruciating pain. I attempted to turn around and give a que and the pain shot straight up from my foot to the top of my head. I was absolutely terrified. I knew then I could not continue the class. I stood very still and told the class that I was sorry but I would have to end class. Luckily two of my three original members...
2 comments
Read more

The Day My Life Changed

What Happened: It's funny they say you don't remember a traumatic event, well I remember! (Yes I know compared to some my event is not horrible but for me it has been) Feb 10th started off as a normal Friday. I went to work as normal, taught an aerobic class and went to Wal-Mart. After being in Wal-Mart approximately 20 min and standing in a VERY long line my calf muscles begin to burn on both legs. Of course when you workout as much as I do you go through shoes pretty frequently, with this in mind I figured that I just needed new shoes. The pain and burning got so bad...I took them off. After checking out I hobbled to my car. I took my passenger by Wendy's (which we did every Friday after class). At this point I still felt a little pain in my legs but overall just felt weird. With driving 3/4 mi from the drive through while eating a french fry (healthy right?😏) my jaw locked up. I was completely unable to move it. I tried to keep a calm face even though I was freake...
1 comment
Read more