Skip to main content

Reflecting

Hello everyone!!!
I have spoken of my relationship with God in a few post but I wanted to make it clear!! I am a Christian, non-denominational, although I belong to a baptist church now. I have had several moments where I have clearly heard from God and consider myself to try and live a life pleasing to Him. Do I mess up? YES! Do I fall short? YES! Does He keep loving me? Thankfully YES!! With that being said I know that God is a healer, deliverer, way maker, provider, protector, source of peace. He is anything and everything.

Through this journey (115 days) I have realized that God speaks to me sometimes through songs. I guess because I love music. I have referenced this in a couple posts. Well today was no different. In church the choir sang   Made A Way by Travis Greene. The lyrics that really hit home for me are                            
  "You made a way, I don't know how but you did it,
standing here not knowing how you will get through this test
..
you've got this figured out 
..
you made a way 
and we're standing here only because you made a way
..
You move mountains
you cause walls to fall
with your power, perform miracles
There is nothing that's impossible"

Why does this part stand out to me? Well.....I know God is responsible for me being able to keep moving, for me not quitting, for me to fight through whatever this is, for me to fight the spirit of depression and not allow pain to takeover. I don't know how He keeps doing it or why He keeps doing it for me. Why He keeps delivering me, protecting me, providing for me, showing me favor, healing my body from diseases that could take my life, supporting me, giving me a support system, sending people to my life, taking away people who don't mean me any good. I have already survived a car accident in which I lost my memory for 30+ days and regained it completely. I have already beat cancer. I know that He is a healer because He healed me! I know He is a protector because He keeps protecting me, I know He preforms miracles, because I am one!! He has moved so many mountains in my life. 
There have been several times during this journey where I was afraid. Where I didn't know what the next moment held, or hour, or day and plan more than that??? lol!!! Where I didn't know how or if I would make it through this test! You've got this figured out  this gave me so much hope!! That although I keep trying to find a way to feel better, God has it already figured out. He knows exactly what it is, how to relieve it and how my life will continue. And we're standing here only because You made a way...this part literally brought me to tears. Not cute tears, not a controllable cry, not an I'm ok and well put together cry but a can't catch my breath, ugly, sniffling, red face, red eyes cry. Why? Because there were times I actually couldn't stand, I couldn't walk! Today my face hurts and I can barely talk.....But here I am STANDING!! And I know it is only because He made a way! 

A few weeks ago we talked about Job and his wife. God allowed Satan to strike His servant Job's body with an illness that did everything but take his life. His wife ask him "why don't you just curse God and be done with it". Like to go against God, which is what Satan was trying to do. Satan told God that Job only served Him and was loyal because He kept His hand of protection on Him. So God allowed Satan to "touch him". Back to the convo between Job and his wife, he told his wife "you sound like a foolish woman. We take the good days from God, why not the bad"? -Job 2

Then there is Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego who were trapped in the firey furnace for not agreeing to turn against God and serve the Kings idols. They told the king (about to paraphrase...) we serve a God that can deliver us from the furnace and anything else you have. But even if He doesn't we will still not go against Him. -Daniel 3

Why did I reference these? Well because I know God is a healer and I believe He will heal me. But if He doesn't I still know He is a healer! He is still God and I will still worship and serve Him.

Here are a few other songs that help get me going in the mornings and help me through the hard times. If you listen to them let me know what you think!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Back to McDummy

Note: Please start reading at "The Why" What Happened: Well the Neurontin is not helping and I have not heard back from the nurse with the results from the last visit on Feb. 28th. So I went to see him. His receptionist said that they are down a nurse and that she would be calling me with the results and making the call to set up the appointment with the nerve conduction specialist. Me: What??? She hasn't called yet? Are you serious? She was picking up the phone when I left your office last visit. You mean to tell me since then she hasn't had time to make one phone call? Her: Ma'am calm down please. There is only one of her. Me: There is only one of me. But you didn't mind charging me my copay regardless of whether I could pay it, you don't care that I came to you in pain and am still in pain possibly because she didn't do her job. No, I will not calm down.  (Within one hour she called me with my appt and blood results. Blood results showed nothing)...
Post a Comment
Read more

OMG! OMG! OMG! 5-1

Note: Start at "The Why" What Happened: Today was an ok day. I worked all day chasing after clients. I taught one fitness class that uses equipment that I have to grip and hit. The pain usually comes when I hit the equipment together so I have learned to hold my left pointer finger up instead of allowing it to grip with the others. The pain is a radiating vibrating pain that goes down my finger. It is excruciating, but I have learned to adapt. In this class we also sit on the ground which is becoming harder and harder. I now have severe pain in my hips and back when sitting down. But I made it through the day! The class! and now its time for another class that requires more equipment, heavy equipment like big tractor tires and  such. Well I loaded all 4 tires, plus heavy weighted bars and various other equipment. Got to the location feeling ok so I moved the 30 plus chairs and 8 tables that needed to be moved. Luckily my friend, my right hand woman in class showed up and h...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Village

Note: Start reading at "The Why" What Happened: Today I ask 6 friends to pray and fast with me for a healing. The bible says when two or more are together that God is there. I need God to be here. I need Him to heal my body. I am at a loss and my body is shutting down quickly. Every step is like fire, hot sand and blisters but my bones get so cold. I hate walking. But I will not quit. I have thought about a wheelchair or crutches just to have relief. Some relief would be so nice right now. But I can walk so I will. My work load has increased drastically and it is so painful.  I think about calling in every morning. But bills wont get paid that way. I can do it. I just have to will myself. My support group will help. I am so thankful that I have friends that will be there an pray with and for me. How I felt: hopeful.
Post a Comment
Read more